make it stop
"I have the heart of a warrior and the spirit of a gypsy" - Tony
This is the season of the bad tattoo. There are more bad tattoos this season than there are on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. I thought it couldn't get worse than JJ's horrific, acid-trip inspired sleeve until I saw Tony's full leg tattoo (is that called a pant?) Actually, scratch that- JJ's is still worse. What the F is going on? Did both Britt and Kaitlyn make it known to producers during casting that they would prefer men with terrible ink?
We got a little bit more Shawn this week, though still not enough to satiate my friends in NYC. Despite little screen time, Shawn still snags the group date rose. I clocked how whenever she walks up to a group of the guys, Shawn is usually the first one she hugs--even if he's not on the date that day. I know from reading Ali Fedotowsky's old blog posts (God forgive me) that this is how to spot the guy the bachelorette likes the most. Shawn is not going anywhere. Their connection is real and I'm invested in it. I am curious, though, how the relationship will play out post sex scandal. We see hints of possessiveness in Shawn already (though it's important to note that, for now at least, this quality comes off as charming, and not creepy). I think Shawn is definitely top three, probably top two, or maybe even the winner IF he does not freak out and bolt post sex-scandal. Some of my friends think that Shawn is the second participant in that hotel room, but I'm still pretty sure that it's Nick. Considering Kaitlyn and Nick were corresponding pre-taping, it makes sense to me that she would view the timeline of their relationship differently than the other guys. My second guess is that rat face is the one who slips it in early. We had nice foreshadowing of that possibility this week when she brought him to her hotel room mid group date. She's also mentioned many times how physically attracted to him she is, despite his ratish face.
(Hey, guys, real talk, I am softening on Jared, but I feel I have gone in too hard with this nickname to turn back. Rat face he shall stay.)
JJ said he wants to be on this sumo wrestling date because he loves sushi. What a tool.
So, Tony has a faux freak-out post getting his ass handed to him by the sumo wrestlers. He gave a long, insane interview prior to getting in the ring, where he somehow thought that he would be able to defeat the world sumo wrestling champion. When he obviously cannot, he decides that he's not okay with violence and gives Kaitlyn shit for putting him through this. He can barely control his desire to look at the camera and flex his pecs. He's trying so hard to perform that he's hot (he's not) and that he's zen (also not). He could not be more of an aggressive poser. A fauxgi, if you will. Regardless, he still came up with a pretty good back-up date (let's go to the zoo, see who makes the best elephant noise) so maybe they can hire him as a freelance producer.
I don't even really want to talk about Clint and JJ. They are using being in love with one another as a gross way to insult Kaitlyn. They use the language of the show to display how much of a joke this whole thing is to them. The way the show is choosing the edit this section as real, and not as a couple of douches acting like douches, is even worse. It seems like the show is trying to humiliate Clint and JJ by tricking some less aware viewers into thinking they are actually in love-- which is an even worse kind of gay bashing.
I feel bad for Kaitlyn because it seems like the producers went out of their way to cast scary, dangerous men this season. Kupah probably would have punched her given the chance. Tony definitely has women locked in his basement and JJ and Clint are the kind of guys that make me terrified of fraternities (date rapists, if you will). I know they are trying to up the drama for rating, but a crazy man is a lot more dangerous than a crazy woman.
Ben Z., though not my type, does a stand-up job with the one-on-one date and revealing more of his trauma (this poor man). This kind of nice guy always makes it pretty far - he is Kaitlyn equivilant of Sean and Chris Soules - a lovable oaf to balance out all the sociopaths. This guy usually makes it up to fantasy suites when the bachelorette has to admit she has no desire to f*&^ him.
I love Ben H. That sperm thing was a little cheesy but I don't care. I love him. Ben H. forever.