butt touching is on
JA: I love Santa Barbara.
SA: We've found a new way to travel here in bachelor nation where this Santa Barbara resort only has to house our leading lady and the gents stay behind in the mansion traveling only for their date and sleeping in bunk beds still. Nicely played, ABC.
Even before Andrew and Marcus’s gossipy chat, I thought to myself, “Wow, Nick’s going into this date kinda pessimistic.” For someone who won the first impression rose, he’s being remarkably Eeyore about the whole thing. Nick, stop talking like a normal person in the real world. This is the Bachelorette; you’re supposed to know you love Andi before you even meet her.
But then I realized maybe I was being too pessimistic. They seemed to actually connect on this date in a real way, not a forced TV way. I can’t decide if I find that refreshing or annoying.
SA: As a Sharleen and Brooks fan of seasons past, I'm always into it when a contestant is a little skeptical, it makes the bachelor/ette work harder. And whether or not you agree with the sentiment, this conversation about "deciding to be with someone" is, at the very least, a conversation I have not yet heard on this show. Anyone who can pull out some new lines from these tired old form stacks gets a gold star in my book. Also, Nick, like your jacket ;)
Marcus, calm down. You didn’t get a one-on-one because you’re fine. After last week, Andi is definitely keeping you around for a while. Don’t get too intense, mmkay?
Week 3 is usually the week I start to notice everyone's age. I was surprised to learn Nick is 33 which makes his "all my friends are married" line more believable and sincere. We also learned that Marcus is only 25 (!) which is probably why he's so antsy and acting like such a little bitch, calm down indeed, Marcus #notafan (also can you tell I'm really into Nick this week, he's only getting compliments!)
OMG, it's BIIM!!!!!!
“I’m pretty sure I touched my first butt to ‘I’ll Make Love to You.’” Oh, Eric. I'm pretty sure my butt was touched for this first time to this too.
This is so painful watching these guys try to sing a Boyz II Men ballad. Like, I’m no singer by any stretch. But they took bad to a whole new level. The performance just wouldn’t stop. It kept going. The bad just went on and on. And Bradley, I’m glad you’re so full of yourself, but you, sir, are no Sharleen. And you are not getting the group date rose. The group date rose never goes to the person who is actually good at the group date activity. The point is to “take risks” and step out of your “comfort zone” (which was the evening’s drinking game phrase, by the way).
Okay, J, lemme know if you agree but by way of being a theater nerd I was under the impression that at least 1 in 5 people, if not a great singer, could at least passably sing a song, but no, no no that is not the case here - these men cannot even pretend to sing, not a one of them. Also can someone tell Bradley that just because you have a baritone and sing some opera sometimes it does not mean you can croon with B2M.
Could you imagine what would have happened if Andi has said as a joke “Guys are telling me you have a girlfriend” and Cody said “yeah, you’re right, I do have a girlfriend”?? Can we give Andi some acting props here, she really sold that. Remember when Desiree tried to trick Sean into believing she had a bf at home and it was the equivalent of that time January Jones hosted SNL (and don't even get my started on Des's Suave commercials) but Andi had Cody peeing in his pants. Nicely done.
Josh M is trouble. With a capital T. Right here in River City. She so clearly gets the vajingles from him. No conversation, no deep exploration of each other’s pasts, just “I like you” and a bunch of making out. Oh, and a group date rose. Marcus, again, calm down. You’re not gonna win two group date roses in a row. Whenever Josh M comes on screen I just think, #trouble, she even called him full of it right before a near horizontal make out sesh. This song should play whenever he comes onscreen. Andi knows it, and soon she's gonna be lying on the cold hard ground. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNoKguSdy4Y&list=RDvNoKguSdy4Y#t=115
The old married couple date was fun, but why were Andi and JJ doing the creepiest old person voices ever? Like, don’t you have grandparents? Don’t you know no human being of any age sounds like that? Andi has yet to send anyone home from a one-on-one. And I don’t think that’ll change in this episode.
JJ is the guy who the bachelorette likes hanging out with as is able to have fun with but will never, ever pick. He'll probably make it into final 6 but then he's done. You have to keep some friend zone guys around to do silly stuff with in between making out with #trouble (Josh M) and being smitten over #toocoolforschool (Nick)
Poor Ron. Is this the season of death??
MY GRANDMA LOVES WERTHER’S!! Mine too!
When Dylan started talking, I had no idea who he was. And Dylan, as terrible as this story is, you need to be saving it for Andi. I don’t know why I’m watching you tell this story to someone else. Unless, of course, the relationship we’re supposed to invest in is the one between you and Farmer Chris.
Dylan the person you need to be telling that story too is a therapist. It is horrible, I feel for you and yes, you need some healing, but I'm not sure you are gonna find that on ABC.
This cocktail party is where stuff starts to get real. Bonus points to Nick for cockblocking with those flowers. Bonus points to Andrew for getting the waitress’s number at that restaurant. If no one goes to tell Andi about it now, she’s gonna keep Andrew around for another week...which is exactly what happened.
Rose ceremony flowers, nicely played, Nick. Nicely played. Also, when Eric said he felt their chemistry was waning from that first date, I kind of have to agree with him. Though I hate even dissecting his place in the competition. Seems so unfair. Ugh. Eric. :(
Shit is sooooo gonna hit the fan when Andi finds out she sent Bradley and Brett home in favor of someone who got another girl’s number. It’s gonna be like during Emily’s season when Kaylon called her daughter “baggage.”
Ummmmm, since when are the bach contestants allowed to go out to dinner? #WTF
I felt so bad for Bradley when he got sent home. But to be honest, I was surprised when he made it through Week 2’s rose ceremony. #justsayin
Can you believe we get another full episode tonight? #blessed