18.7.15

kaitlyn // week nine


This is Ben H... holding a baby. If you need us, text our ghosts, because we're dead.

Sofia Alvarez: I still haven't watched this week's bach (I know sacrelig.) I was out on Monday and caught the last half hour. It was enough to see most Nick's hometown, and all of Shawn's. Since we've known this was a two-horse race for week's now, I just don't think I need to go back and watch K pretend to like Ben H. for an hour. Ima let you take it away, Josh. (Should have done this days ago...)


Josh Allen: Tonight’s drinking game phrase is “eskimo brothers,” mainly because I had to ask the internet what that means. Apparently, it just means two dudes who have had sex with the same woman. According to Urban Dictionary:


Origin: Because of the cold in the far north, Eskimo hospitality extends to sharing of beds and female companionship. A visitor is considered a brother.


The more you know…


Ben H can do absolutely no wrong, but put him on a horse and it’s GAME OVER. And dumbass Kaitlyn continues to say things like “hanging out with Ben is so easy and so nice,” which are things I’ve said about all my lady co-workers. Doesn’t mean I wanna marry any of them. I think Kaitlyn truly cared about Ben, though, and wanted him to have the best chance possible of being the next Bachelor, so she took him as far as she could in the competition. It’s kind of sweet, honestly, and it shows that Kaitlyn is thinking about the fans.


Of course, Ben H gets sent home. Part of me is sad but another part of me knew this had to happen if he is to be the next Bachelor. You could even tell in her interview with Chris Harrison when Kaitlyn said, “He’s gonna make a great husband…” The end of that sentence was clearly “...for someone else.”


I enjoyed watching Kaitlyn and Shawn golf. I think these two have the best all-around chemistry, as long as Shawn can drop the whole Chris Bukowski possessive thing. It seems to be freaking her out. She used the word “intense,” and not in a good way.


This Shawn v Nick thing is getting super old. You can tell the producers are prodding Kaitlyn to keep stoking the conflict between them. Note that Kaitlyn never told Ben H that she’d had sex with Nick. She only told the guy who has sworn to be Nick’s mortal enemy. These confrontations between Shawn and Nick are becoming forced.


Nick’s hometown visit was stressful. This show stresses out Nick’s entire family. Even little Bella is cracking under the stress. Note that only about three members of Nick’s insanely huge family attended this hometown visit, and they all just came down to Kaitlyn’s hotel because no way in hell were they inviting another Bachelorette into their house. I had actually forgotten until I saw Bella again that Nick has 300 brothers and sisters. I honestly don’t know how I’d feel about having an 8-year-old sister-in-law.

Nick's mom's tears are so real. She has no idea what her son is doing on this show again. She desperately wants Kaitlyn to be her new DIL, because if she isn't, it means her son will be #2 again and is headed for MASSIVE MENTAL BREAKDOWN.


So, is there some reason these hometown visits are all happening in Best Westerns, next door to insurance sales conventions?

Just another part of Kaitlyn's "punishment" from ABC for playing by her own rules. Perhaps the finale will take place at a water park w screaming children all around.


I really have nothing to say about Shawn’s hometown visit. I nodded off once or twice, actually. And (duh), Shawn is in love with Kaitlyn. 

Shawn's hometown was, eh, I dunno. I am over Shawn. Either of these men are going to be devastated. Let's get to it already.


Is it bad that I am not invested in this outcome? Like, I just want it to be January already so I can see Ben H every week?

http://www.eonline.com/news/675913/ben-higgins-has-been-chosen-as-the-next-bachelor

And Josh, do not forget about #paradise !


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